Welcome to my lecture about realizing today’s family system. This lecture is the first part of our discussion on major social institutions. Let us start by thinking about our families. Then, let us reflect on families in today’s contemporary times.

Now, you might agree with me that there is no perfect or faultless family. However, a family that stays together embraces each other’s imperfections while solid spiritual faith strengthens them.

Let us define or give the most simple family description or meaning. I know we are all thinking of the traditional definition, from which we can distinguish the changes in its context. A family is a fundamental social group composed of a father, a mother, and a child or more children, founded on love and commitment, by which belongingness and the first interaction of socialization commence. Thus, a traditional family consists of a husband and a wife with one biological child or more or, in some cases legally adopted child. Likewise, from religious and legal perspectives, a family consists of a man (father), a woman (mother), and their child or children living in one household. Examples of such traditional families are the nuclear family (the family of origin) and the extended family, including immediate relatives from both parents.

But, as you observed today, is it still the exact composition or structure? Yes or No? Of course, not. Such a change from the traditional meaning gives way to modifying the family definition from a legal standpoint. Nowadays, a family (or a modern-day family) comprises two adults (not necessarily a man and a woman) with a socially accepted sexual relationship with one or more children, either biological or legally adopted, and could be in marriage or legal union or cohabitation. Aside from the traditional family, the modern-day family includes single-parent families, grandparent families, blended or step-families, same-sex families and childless families. Do you recognize how complicated it is? As a result, the marriage definition also changed from a legal viewpoint along with such a change. The former union of a man and a woman from a traditional marriage has changed to a partnership or legal unification between two adults having sexual relationships. 

From this perspective, marriage traditions eventually changed, as well. For example, cohabitation is now a prelude to marriage between men and women, including adults of the same sex, which is unacceptable or deplorable to most religious organizations and other governments. Such a definition also depicts or implies changes in family composition and traditions, as discussed earlier.

Nowadays, human rights, freedom and gender equity are significant elements in redefining marriage and family. Please note that I am not saying that rights and freedom, as well as gender equity, are wrong but are factors to redefine what marriage and family are. Thus, based on these principles, the marriage definition changed to a union of a man and a woman or two adults of the same sex. Procreation, the primary goal of marriage, gradually shifts to individualism and self-gratification, which means personal satisfaction and happiness. Others may say it is lust or sexual desire. As a result, laxity or leniency becomes a common characteristic of such a sexual relationship.

Then, what is happening to our traditional family system? It becomes at risk. From the nuclear and extended family, the changing concepts of marriage and family create other family variances and classifications, such as single-parent, same-sex, blended and grandparent families, as cited previously. This process is called the detraditionalization of the family system. Detraditionalization refers to the erosion of traditions — for instance, family and marriage traditions such as the prohibition of cohabitation or living together before marriage, but it has become ordinary today. Another is the non-practice of long engagement between couples as part of their relationship test before the wedding. At some point, this change restructures the fabric of the traditional family system.

Let us focus and give ourselves more time to reflect on today’s family structure changes. First, solid male leadership declines because of the shift in most employment opportunities, such as the feminization of labour due to women’s lower wages, thus equating gender roles. Second, common-law partnerships and cohabitation are socially accepted, the same as consecrated marriages. Third, strong family support and values systems collapse when family members fight for their rights, particularly in the court system. Examples are cases in the American family court reality shows of Judge Judy Scheindlin and Judge Greg Mathis, resolving family conflicts between siblings, parents, children and parents or relatives. One can also consider several family conflicts broadcast in the “Raffy Tulfo in Action” program in the Philippines. Such shows demonstrate the fragility and discord of post-modern families compared to traditional strong family ties and solidarity. It indeed ruins family relationships. Fourth, traditionally, families live nearby, showing solidarity and a solid support system. In contrast, most modern family members remotely live while working on long-distance relationships; for example, family living overseas or one of the parents usually works abroad. Lastly, a traditional family has a common interest, while modern-day families focus on liberalism, economic freedom, and living independently.

Therefore, such a detraditionalization process results in the fragmentation of the family as society’s fundamental institution. How? Interestingly, it all started with women’s enlightenment, the feminist movement, advocating for rights and freedom. Gender roles and economic independence are common arguments and the focus of debates, considering gender roles defined traditional responsibilities. For instance, men are responsible for family provisions and social representations, while women control domestic affairs like household duties and children’s discipline. It is a huge difference today, an outcome of economic or financial freedom, women’s rights and gender equality impacted the traditional family affair. At this time, the alienation of the family commenced. Why? It happens when the outsider plays the domestic role of the family; for example, the nanny performs mothering and household duties because both parents are employed or career individuals. It means an “outsider” exists in the family, meaning a non-family member lives or works in the household.

Looking at an economic perspective, these changes in the family structure are unforeseen repercussions of the global economy or globalization. Globalization mobilizes people across national borders by transferring goods and services, skills and knowledge, technology and information, and investments flow. This process involves migrating to other countries for better economic or employment opportunities and integrating into a new and more liberal culture. Thus, globalization allows family members to live apart for a long time to earn a living, significantly affecting family relationships.

Due to one parent’s prolonged absence in the family, long-distance relationships and exposure to a more liberal world, most often than not, family problems arise. For instance, even though modern technology can reconnect families, family brokenness and disintegration of family values become a price of globalization and luxuries in family life.

In summary, globalization alters family life from the known (or the traditional) to unknown trajectories of cosmopolitan life (the post-modern). The uncertain rights and freedom boundaries versus personal responsibilities blurred social duties and the future of the family system. Moreso, the post-modern family has an enormous difference compared to the family of the past. Its meaning, purpose, composition and traditions changed due to the strong influence of modernity, upholding rights and freedoms and gender parity. Such civil rights and liberties deteriorate strong values in forming families, making families today a fragile and at-risk fundamental institution of our society.

Whether we accept it or not, the power of the material world and money culture sweep us to the course of their undercurrents. We are in a world where greed and power dominate over compassion and respect for humankind. The fundamental values that start from the family abruptly vanish in exchange for egocentrism and selfish pursuits. However, we can be agents of change. Let us practice our ability to influence others to revive fundamental family morals and do good deeds. The revival of solid family values within families can rekindle the bedrock of a healthy family as a primary social institution. Let us begin with our (very own) family. It is formidable, yet, it is doable.